The Beach // Reflections

It’s been a rough week.

I’ve been debating whether or not to mention anything, because as of right now only our closest family and friends know –

but Monday (yes, April Fool’s Day) my husband was ‘permanently’ laid off.

The company he worked for decided that they would slowly get rid of their staff, and bring in a management company. Needless to say, my husband, the manager, was first to go.

This was a huge shock to us all, but unfortunately one that I am familiar with.

In 2007 something similar happened with a company my husband was working for (he is a vineyard manager) and I guess I should be a little more understanding, vineyards sell, owners change, but the last go around was a very challenging year emotionally and financially.

To top that off half of the family came down with a nasty stomach bug that took days to recover.

Prior to this hectic week we had booked a yurt at Devil’s Lake State Park. It’s close to the beach, and seemed like a nice little get-a-way at the time…

but everything from this weeks events just had everyone on edge; my eldest daughter has a difficult time with things out of her routine anyways, and everything/everyone fell apart today.

It probably didn’t help that the weather was stormy, cold, windy, rainy. We had about a 20 minute gap to visit the beach.

Things will get better, there is no choice. It’s not the end of the world, but I dread having to work more long hours and missing out on time at home.

I have to have faith right now, which is something I struggle with, because I want to try and fix things, solve everything, make it all okay. And sometimes I just have to learn to let it be. Let my husband do the best he can. Realize that this will set us back, again. And just have faith.

Faith is a scary, terrifying feeling for me. To let go of control. But I know, right now, its what I need to do.